Humbled.....

Ok, so back in October, we made the decision to try to get back to the States for the holidays.  There were a lot of reasons to go back during the holiday season, but here are a few:

1. Emme is in a Costa Rican Public school, so she follows the CR school calendar, February to December. 1 week off for Holy week; 2 weeks off in July for "half term" break (during our busy team season), and "summer" break, Dec-Feb., between school years.  This was our ONLY time to visit as a family
2. My brother, Kevin, was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor/ brain cancer.  I was unable to see him during all of this or even know what was going on, as I was finding out information second sometimes third hand (one of the down falls of living far, FAR away from family, but thank GOD for technology).  We/I really wanted to spend a holiday with all of the family.
3. The kids really, REALLY wanted to see snow again.  This was the first time that they even mentioned about going back or wanting to see snow.
4. We just really wanted to be with family this year and I miss a cold Christmas

So, God laid this on my heart to be with family this holiday, but our family funds were not there.  It was literally IMPOSSIBLE if we had to come up with the money ourselves.  I went back and forth about going or not; about being mad or sad; about thinking we could wait just one more year.....

Then God laid on my heart to try to ask people to help us with the funds.  I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS!!!  I talked with our ministry partner, Georgianna, who has been on the mission field for more than 15 years; I prayed about it just about every waking moment; I talked about it with other ministry women; we prayer about it; I talked with friends; I talked with Bruce....I wanted to make sure that I wasn't asking out of selfish reasons (although they were selfish reasons).  I wanted to make sure that I wasn't crazy for thinking that raising funds, like this, was a GOOD reason, or a normal reason or anything that didn't seem like we are not being good stewards of the money God has provided us thus far or in the future.

Honestly, I just didn't want to do it.  I don't like asking for money....never have, never will.  But now that we are here in Costa Rica, we are under a religious visa, which means we can not work or earn income--so ya see, I couldn't do anything in my own power to "make fore funds" to be able to go.  Not only go, but during the holidays when it is SUPER expensive--and we have 4 people.

I decided to make a 'gofundme' web page and to write a personal e-letter to many of the people on our mailing list.  Many of these people are on our list for updates/newsletters/blog, etc.  There were people that I sent it to, and others that I didn't.  I was kind of letting the Holy Spirit lead me and several times we argued about it.  "This person is not a current financial supporter, I doubt they will." "Just send it" He said.  I did.  "This person has been supporting us financially since day 1--I can't ask for anything more." "There is a reason they support you, just send it" He said.  I did.

The reasons and the arguments continued for 2 days, with each email, each person and finally I heeded His voice and submitted and sent them.
I was scared of receiving nothing, I was embarrassed of what people would say, I was worried about what people would think, I was worried about telling my kids we wouldn't be able to go.....

But in the end, I was shocked, grateful and humbled in a way I never had been before.

What was the Holy Spirit trying to teach me?  Here is a list of a few things:

1. I can't do it on my own.
2. Don't even try to do it on my own.
3. Search your heart for the REAL reasons you are doing something.
4. Expect things from unexpected situations.
5. Don't expect things from expected situations.
6. People really do love us.
7. We are ONE body of Christ.
8. Not everyone can give, but they can PRAY and that helps a lot.
9. Just ask.
10. Pray and seek like you never have before and God will do BIG things.
11. It isn't always about receiving monetary donations from people...people have offered driving us, a car, a place to stay, sight-seeing, dinners and fellowship--just as important.
12. I 
13. Could
14. Go
15. On
16. Forever.....

The outpouring of donations, emails, messages were overwhelming.  People who have given and keep giving, people who have never been able to give but felt they could help in this specific way, people who barely know us and give to us.....It wasn't anything that I could have or would have expected.....It was all of the Holy Spirit--end of discussion. (If you would like to hear more testimonies....believe me, I have them.)

And in saying all of that, we have purchased our tickets!  We will be in the States from Dec 11-Jan 12.  We will be visiting supporters and churches as well as time with family!  Here is our outlined itinerary:

Dec 11-15- Fly into New Jersey.  Visit New York. Church at a partnering church and fellowship with awesome people in love with Jesus!
Dec 15 Fly from NJ to KY, Arrive in KY. Drive to Indiana.
Dec 15-Dec 29- Time in Indiana. Visiting friends. Visiting a supporting church. Time with family during Christmas...ahhhhh!
Dec 29-Drive to KY
Dec 29-Jan 8- In Danville/Harrodsburg, KY area.
Jan 9-Fly to Atlanta
Jan 9-Jan 12- Visit supporters. Sight-seeing. Fellowship with friends. Visit partnering church and company!
Jan 12- Fly back to Costa Rica.

We have some things on the calendar, but we also have some time open.  If you would like to get together with us while we are in Indiana or Ky, just shoot us a message on Facebook or send us an email at crawfords4him@me.com

We would love to talk with you about our ministry, Costa Rica or how you can be a part of our ministry here!

Again, thank you to everyone who donated, prayed or has offered us something while we are in the States! We are so grateful for each and every one of you!

In HIM,
the crawfords